Once upon a time... shit, that doesn't work.  let me try again!<br>
There once was a... ah damn...<br>
So this one time I was walking down the street, when all of the sudden and (seriously) out of nowhere comes the fuckin' Easter Bunny!  "It's not easter," I thought, "Why the hell is he here...?"  So I figured it'd be a good idea to just ask him what was up.  "Hello, Mr. Bunny," I said, "What are you doing here on this fine road today?  Shouldn't you be painting eggs or something for next easter?"<br>
Well... what came next surprised even me, and I've seen a lot of things in my day, because his response basically consisted of a number of grunts and growls, ending in a final, ear-piercing screech-like sound that you'd never think a bunny could make, and WHAM! he's coming at me with a fuckin' knife!<br>
"Jesus Christ!" I think, as I reactively duck out of the way.  Well, needless to say, I had no choice but to retaliate.  I then proceeded to grab his cute, fluffy little bunny tail as he lunged again, missing for a second time.  His strength was greater than I would have expected, comparable to that of, perhaps, Matthew Perry (quite large for a rabbit, admittedly), but I managed to throw him down, and soon we began to wrestle for control of the large butcher's knife he still gripped in his hand.<br>
It was quite brutal, but ended with the knife being thrown about five feet away from the two of us.  After punching him in the face a few times I attempted to scramble for the knife, but he grabbed my leg and pulled me back.  My thoughts were quickly flooded with images of my own death at the hands of the, once considered cute and happy, Easter Bunny.<br>
"No!" I thought, and quickly attempted to focus my thoughts on a solution... Meanwhile, he was pummeling me with his bunny paws and sharp little claws.  Covered in blood, I finally thought of something.  "Look!  Over there, a carrot!" I screamed out, my last real hope.  Luckily, he was distracted long enough for me to throw him off, and once again I made for the knife.  Of course he quickly realized that there was no carrot, and proceeded to chase after me, but by the time he caught up I had already picked up the knife, and let me tell you, he practically threw himself onto the blade.  Perhaps he was tired of madness; I know not, but I swear he almost looked pleased as he breathed his last fuzzy breath.<br>
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The end.<br>
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...And that, children, is the REAL reason why there's no Easter Bunny!<br>
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Copyright 2002-2004 Aldiyen.<br>